It was the wrong word. Joe didn't realize it until he heard it repeated in Nicky's voice and saw the incandescent rage on his face. The reminder was there in that flame; how Nicky had lived the worst of humanity in his time and fought against it. How he continued to fight against it and hold his beliefs in spite of all he has seen. It was what Joe, other times, loved so much about him.

Remembering that now made him feel that love again, acutely, for the first time in a year.

He bowed his head in a silent apology, turning his hand to take Nicky's in his own and bring it to his lips. That kiss was the first his lips had felt of the other's skin in so long. Joe missed it. More than he realized. He missed his husband's closeness. But he had no idea how to even begin getting it back when he still felt like knives were being shoved into him, night and day.

"I am sorry, angelo. I spoke from my anger instead of my brain." He looked at Nicky and, even sorry, he had to harden his gaze a bit. "I take back that word. But nothing else. There aren't words for what I will do to him if he abused your kindness and brought you to harm."

His eyes closed a bit, almost pained.

"I can still remember the sounds of your torture in that lab. The feeling of helplessness as I could do nothing but watch. You may be able to forgive such a thing but I cannot. Not yet."